Do you believe your lover no longer wants to have sex? Do you believe that there aren’t many sexual embers in the bedroom? Let us warn you that the issue is not with your partner before you lash out and place the blame there. There are other factors at play than your relationship. Your sex drive might be killed by a number of habits.
Working long hours, drinking alcohol, and having stringent deadlines frequently cause couples to place less significance on their sexual life. Because of our way of life, we frequently prefer to disregard our personal lives. Perhaps you are also leading a lifestyle that is killing your sex drive without you realising it. We have provided a list of unhealthy behaviours that are impacting your sex desire to better help you understand. Long sex sessions, dirty moments, and flirting with one another all become faraway dreams.
Huddling in bed with your iPad
Indeed, it can be challenging to stop using Pinterest or to resist binge-watching the newest Orange Is the New Black season. But time, passion, and emotional energy can be lost to technology. Many women claim they have no time for sex, but Andrea Syrtash, a relationship specialist and the author of Cheat on Your Husband, notes that many admit to checking Facebook an hour before bed (With Your Husband). Also, sending that final email before turning out the lights ensures that you are concentrating on your work and not on getting into bed with your spouse.
Dr. Jane Greer, a marriage and sex therapist in New York, argues that this means that emotionally, you are elsewhere. (Having a TV in the bedroom also doesn’t help: A new study reveals that couples only engage in sexual activity half as frequently!) To reduce distractions, both experts advise turning off your electronics an hour before bed.
Eating much or too late
According to Dr. Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW, stress and busy schedules both contribute to late dinners, midnight snacking, and overeating. “Such habits can make us drained, stuffed, and self-conscious.” What occurs when we don’t feel good about ourselves, do you know? a great deal of nothing. she gave? Consider sex as your dessert, Sussman exhorts. “There’s a fairly good possibility that if you eat less, you’re going to have more energy and want to have sex later that evening.” (And, afterward, you can always have something sweet.)
Adding an extra wine glass
Another cunning culprit that can be putting a stop to your desire is alcohol usage. Sussman says, “People frequently drink to deal with stress, but it might backfire, making them fatigued or grumpy. Why? since alcohol has a depressive effect. But, not all alcoholic beverages are unhealthy; just be mindful of your intake. Sussman continues, “A little bit can excite you on, but too much can definitely destroy a sex drive and make it hard to orgasm.
Allowing your pet to sleep in your bed
We comprehend. The puppy-dog eyes are difficult to avoid. However, Virginia Sadock, M.D., Head of the Department in Human Sexuality at NYU Langone Medical Center, advises against bringing pets into the bedroom. In fact, your dog might gain from giving you some breathing room. Pets, like kids, don’t appreciate being left out, but Sadock observes that they dislike parental conflict even less. And since having sex helps relieve stress, shut the door for the evening.
Being a one-trick pony
Monogamy can get boring after a while. Routines are simple to get into, especially once you find one that “works,” but restraining yourself from repeating the same moves will help keep you interested in playing again. Sussman advises doing some reading, experimenting with different body postures, or coming up with original techniques to entice your partner: “It doesn’t need to be difficult. As simple as flirting can do it.”
Always taking the kids on vacation
In a family situation, Disney World typically prevails over Aruba. Yet, a February 2013 study commissioned by the U.S. Travel Association found that couples who travel together at least once a year have more contented sexual lives. A weekend getaway might foster greater connection than meagre presents. Thus, avoid giving gifts of affection and spend more on vacations by saving your money.
Putting on your jammies
That baggy tee or prairie-chic plaid dress are probably not helping either of you feel particularly motivated. Syrtash notes that wearing gorgeous underwear can make sexual activity feel more seductive. “If you often wear granny pants to bed, try switching it up with sensuous materials that feel wonderful on your skin. You’ll feel sensual, and he’ll think it’s sexy.” Hence, everyone benefits.
Skipping the gym
Confidence doesn’t mean you should let everything go: “A moderate amount of exercise helps you build up stamina, it energises you, and it is also a fantastic method to release anxiety,” advises Sadock. The more energy you have left over to feel aroused for sex, the less energy you are expending on feeling anxious. A University of Florida research found that post-workout sex can be fantastic. Why? Even if you haven’t dropped any weight, you end up feeling more confident and liberated.
Not setting aside any “special time”
Although it may not sound romantic, organising romps in the bedroom improves them by frequently removing guilt. “It’s easy to feel like you always have something more important to be doing than having sex if you’re a really busy person, especially a stay-at-home mom or a working mom,” Sussman claims, adding that she advises arranging couples’ time at least once a week.
Passing up those small opportunities to connect
Additionally, you can revive your libido outside of the bedroom. According to Sadock, lunch dates are particularly helpful for helping couples reconnect on a deeper level. “Twenty minutes of talking — when you’re not washing the dishes, folding clothes, or watching TV — helps you reconnect with your partner on a deeper level,” she says. It’s uniquely nice because it’s a rest during the day and you’re not as worn out as you are at night.
Waiting for the appropriate time
Do it now. Seriously. The decline in oestrogen levels that occurs in women as they age, as well as after giving birth, can cause dryness in the vagina and decreased desire. Yet, starting to kiss and fondle while being out of the mood can actually turn you on. You can thank us later if you try it.
News viewing while in bed
The mood could be seriously destroyed by watching the news while in bed. The news can be downright gloomy at times, which may be negatively affecting your sex life by lowering your desire or putting you in a depressed frame of mind.
A weak sex desire could be caused by insufficient z’s. Changes in hormone levels result in a decrease in libido when sleep is lacking. Also, being sleep deprived can make you feel bad, which means you probably won’t be in the mood for an intimate relationship with your spouse.
Avoid letting these negative behaviours spoil your sexual life. Make an effort to keep things exciting in the bedroom and cherish that connection with your lover!
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